Wish corruptor

Granted. You live in a Japanese prison for life after being convicted of strangling a Geisha you mistook for a mime during a lucid nightmare after that "Paris" incident.

I wish my boss could find another job.

 

Granted. Unfortunately, you have exactly the same physical strength and emotional structure, so you're not all that good with it and too squeamish to actually murder anyone anyway. Meanwhile, a horrible, many ton mass of people from around the world have just found their necks fused into a single, massive structure. They're still alive, and they've been dropped into your home town (destroying most of the homes in the process). And they blame you.

I wish I had unlimited wealth.

 

Granted, unfortunatly the world ends 4.57mins later

I wish I had the time and money for a holiday.

 

Granted. Your boss gives you an all expenses paid-trip to another jobsite.

I wish that my parents would shut the f*ck up.

 

Granted. Unfortunately, the change co-incides with EVE-Online's change to the World of Darkness system and setting, and all of your current gaming pals are soon replaced with angsty teens and (worse) angsty 40 somethings.

I wish I had absolute power over the life and death of every man, woman and child on Earth.

 

Granted. You now become technically entitled as a 'god'. This ensues a large-scale power struggle with God (of the Roman-Catholic based religions), where you, through some odd twist of fate, win, unraveling the very fabric of reality and throwing the entire universe into a chasm of unexistance. Thanks a lot, oh great one. :zap:

I wish I really did look more like Johnny Depp. (refers to the "Wannabe cam-hos apply here" thread)

 

((I can't think of how that wishcould be corrupted. ))

 

Granted. You now look exactly like Johnny Depp looks to people who watch his films. You are three meters tall and two dimensional. This opens up opportunities in the fields of Superheroing and construction work, but makes it almost impossible for you to find pants.

I wish I was an expert in all areas of human knowledge.

 

granted, you are now an engineering student on a bender.

I wish the cafe down the road from work sold more healthy food.

 

Granted. The cafe down the road went out of business and was sold over to a health food company, now specializing in homoginized soy cubes and other similar treats. Yum! =p

I wish I had a new computer.

 

Granted. Everything in your home is stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate. Thus your computer, while new, has all the same problems as the old one.

I wish that banana chips were a high protein, low calorie snack food.

 

Granted. They now have the exact taste and consistence of cardboard.

...wait...they already do...Hmm...

I wish sausage tasted more like bacon.

 

Granted... But it squeals every time you
try to bite it... you don't want to know
where you're chewing on :chew: the bacon. :blowme:

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I wish I had finished my stupid presentation for
Computational Linguistics Course...