Wish corruptor

Granted! Not only does your hairline not recede, it moves forward and covers your entire forehead to the bridge of your nose.

I wish I could move back to Canada...

 

Granted!!!!!!!!!

That's it. Just granted. If only All Canadians would move back! Haha!
Okay, not really (maybe). I'm from Texas, what do I care?

I wish the New York Giants would give the Dallas Cowboys some competion.

 

I cant' even grant that wish because as per the theme of the thread I'd have to corrupt it and I can't because I would wish for the same thing.

I wish I knew what to get my boyfriend for his birthday.

 

Granted, unfourtenetly, it involves 3 othr girlfriends, a bottle of babyoil, and the previously mentioned endless bottle of scotch.


I wish bush would die...painfully

 

Granted. Unfortunately, his death would spark a massive fanatical neo-conservative uprising that would overthrow our current government in favor of a previously mentioned neo-conservative dictatorship.

I wish that it was spring!!

 

Ha, you were supposed to corrupt it.

 

Granted, however the desperate spinning of the Earth off of its axis to fulfill this wish destroys all life on the planet.

I wish that happy kittens would dance and play in a delightful land of plenty.

 

Granted, but that place happens to be a chinse kitchen...

Kiten chow mein anyone?

I wish KotB was here already!

 

Granted!

KotB has finally arrived, but while trying to install it, your hands shaking with anticipation, you suffer a massive aneurysm and end up in a vegetative state. No one notices the change for several days.

I wish I could find a fulfilling new job with a stupidly high paycheque.

 

Granted! But in order to get this miracle job (fulfilling AND a great paycheck?) you have to move to Antarctica, leaving all of your friends and family behind.

I wish my kids would pick up their bedrooms.

 

granted, however in the process they throw everything into your room instead and trying to get through your room you step on a Barbie and hit your head on the door in the process..

I wish my kids didn't through their crap in my room.

 

Granted! They not only pick up the stuff in their rooms, they also starting picking up the things in the other houses in the neighborhood, till they finally end up in prison, when they don't have anything to pick up in their jailrooms...

I wish that I could be in Lost's island (and no, not being one of the corpses that the plane crash left in there)...

 

Granted, you have the most amazing year you shall ever have in your life. It's such a great year that all other years will be unable to hold a candle to this one and as a result you will feel nostalgic and listless for the rest of your life.

I wish I wasn't afraid to express my emotions.

 

Granted, you now wear your heart on your sleeve and are very comfortable with it, unfortunately you get stranded on a desert island and a couple of sea turtles are the only ones around to share your emotions with.

I wish I could get someone to buy this house I inherited, so I can retire.