Wish corruptor

Granted. Unfortunately, a massive terrorist plan to destroy the majority of the world's democratic population has replaced all the Christmas presents with biological weapons set to detonate upon opening the box.

I wish my girlfriend didn't live so far away.

 

Granted. You and your girlfriend are now a strange, hybrid being, both man and woman. On the plus side, this gives you great Kung Fu and the potential for vast mystic power. On the minus side, you will never be able to just relax and watch an action movie again without her complaining.

I wish all the pushing of Co8 I've been doing on other boards would result in more active members rather than just a few downloads.

 

Granted. This forum is now chock full of new annoying n00b registered members, all asking the same annoying questions that have been asked and answered 1000 time before, and getting all irate when it is suggested they use the search function.

Oh, wait. We really have that.

Okay, so you have to answer them all.

(Yes, the Meanie is back.)


I wish I could transport my consciousness back in time and have it inhabit my body when I was 12, and re-live the intervening years knowing what I know now and being the person I am now.

 

Granted. You get your ass kicked by every 17 year old girl you approach about having sex with, since you've the mind of an adult, but the body of an adolescent.

I wish we had the toolset for ToEE.

 

granted, the pigeons go away because there is now no longer a house in that location, there is just a hole in the ground (and a dwarf would call that home anyway)

I wish I could remember the cool thing that I was going to wish for earlier.

 

dammit I am running out of ideas for this thing

 

I wish people would stop using past-altering wishes. There's only so many outcomes for those...

 

Granted. Everyone's wishes will now revolve around root vegetables.

I wish potatoes were the size of watermelons, or possibly larger.

 

They're larger, alright. They now engulf the whole planet and smother everyone.

I wish for a new wish that fulfilled what this sentence says.

 

granted you are now a wire worm, and live in the giant world potatoe

I wish our wishes didn't have to revolve around root vegetables any more

 

Granted. You now have a full and bodiful set of breasts. If you already had breasts to begin with, they are now slightly larger.

I wish I had a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.

Edit: Damnit! If I hadn't have gotten that darn phone call, I would have gotten this in before Cujo :Crazy_Tig ...

Just disregard this post.

 

hey I don't mind the boobs, I just had my lungs removed so I don't look like a chick

btw granted, you have a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich - the jelly is made of jellyfish, stingers and all.

I wish I'd thought first before getting my lungs replaced with these giant new boobs.

 

Granted--now you can't even excuse yourself for having gone ahead and done it on a mindless whim.

I wish there were plenty more emotive emoticons to choose from.