So what do you do in rl?

Bah! Life is what you make of it.
If I start to think it's all pointless, I force myself to make a list of all the good things and happy times I can remember.
If that fails to bring me around I go and volunteer some time with people less fortunate than me, (that will give you a real wake up call).

Life doesn't suck... sometimes our perception of it does.

 

her father said she doesnt want me to contact her. i asked if that was true and she said yes... i wonder what i did to her.. i wonder if her new bf will do something less bothering than what i did to her....


thanks alot guys btw these are one of the best advices i ever had

 

sfsdfsdfsdfds

 

Kio, you sound kind of young. When someone breaks your heart, it's going to hurt for a while. If it didn't, there would be something wrong with you. You can't make it stop, nor do you want to. Go out and hang with your friends. It will give you something to do instead of focusing on your hurt.

Love is never fair, it just happens. There are evil people out there, and they are hard to detect. But more importantly, young people do things they shouldn't. Hopefully, they will learn from their mistakes. They aren't evil, just stupid. If I seem like someone who knows something, it's because I've been REALLY stupid.

The only thing worse than a broken heart, is never having it broken.

 

man yeah i cant tell you how right you are

 

GA82 is spot on!!

Going through the pain pf a broken heart can (when handled the right way ) make anyone a better person. The road to get there is very rough and downright bleak at time (trust me I know this ALL TO WELL!) but the rewards t the end are worth it.

If I gave into all the pain, despair, misery, hatred, and the like, after my first marriage, (and yes kio11, it was ended by her infidelity, so I can completely sympathize) I would have never have had the courage to go out and meet my soul mate.

It'll sound a little cheesy, but you're not alone here at Co8, or anywhere you call home. There's alot of us here, it seems, with rich life experiences that are always willing to either lend an ear or a shoulder as need be.

For now, take some friendly advise, get completely and utterly obliterated (TRY NOT to do anything illegal, at least for right now), rant about her for a bit, go get some good sleep and face tomorrow. It won't be easy, but you can do it!

Most importantly, make sure to give YOURSELF some time, Being alone for awhile is good in between these things. It helps to heal and get you back into focus.

 

man i cant thank you enough. none of my so called friends menaged to give me a good advice or a word

 

Sometimes friends feel too wierd to talk to you about things. You know how guys are. Go hang with them anyway. They'll help by distracting you from your troubles.

Go start a game of tabletop D&D, give a troll your ex-girlfriend's name and have a beatdown/flaming oil party. :chairshot :flamed:

 

My little one was born 3 years after the separation. Now he's bigger than me. Her second son (to the left of my picture), by her her second husband, use to jump out of her arms into mine when he saw me. So I kept him when I kept my own son. His father thought I was a chump: I still know he was a fool for missing out. She remarried a third time, and had a third son. After her third divorce, HE suggested I marry his mom. This list of kids has grown to 3 boys (1 (3) mine, and 5 girls, the oldest of whom is pregnant. Life goes on.

The universe will snatch away the measely penny you wanted. Be sure to pick up the million dollars at your feet. (It's always outside your secure little world.) I've tried to help when I could, expecting little reward, just because it makes me feel better. If I can't help myself, I'll help some one else. Strangely, the best things in my life have come from that.

By the way, I was working in a grocery store, poor as hell, when she told me she was pregnant. She still laughs about how I went into shock. I was afraid how bad it would turn out. I'm still waiting for it to be bad, 18 years later.

 

my problem is that its my fault. i scared her alot. i took things too serious and nagged her head. i cant help but to think its all my fault. now she punishes me and i deserve it

 

Kio, stop that!!

While you may be to blame (or feel that way), you CANNOT beat yourself up over it!!
It's OK to recognize and acknowledge any mistakes you might have made in this particular relationship but that doesn't mean you need to nail yourself to any cross!

It took me awhile to acknowledge that I messed up in my last marriage as well but not being as attentive. (there's more to that story, but for another time ) But I LEARNED FROM IT!! as you will too. Experience is a great teacher, if you pay attention to what its trying to teach you.

Once word of advice, DO NOT let yourself get suckered back into being with her. It's soo easy to do but it leads to more pain (trust me on this!!). It's more than fine to remain friends, or to be even on friendly terms, it you can make it work, but remember, one act of infidelity is a permanent deal breaker. That trust level is gone forever and no matter what may occur, the spectre of that incident and betrayal of trust will always remain.

Take the time I mentioned to heal up and review yourself. It's unfair to you and for you take ALL the blame as much as it is for you to dump ALL the blame on her.

Remember what Ted said about being an "asshole". Decide if that's who you want to be or not. I've got a dear friend who's like that with girls, he's had many relationships but none lasting more than 6 -9 months. Most likely he'll never marry or find "the one". I however took the other road. I may not have had as many relationships, but the few I had were at least meaningful, even if the didn't work in the long run.

Being successful at love is like being successful at ToEE modding. It takes alot of time, patience, and learning from mistakes, but the end result is well worth it. Love is also a worj in progress so you're always ready to apply the latest patch to make it better!

Kio, feel free to PM if you need to!! You gotta some good people here for you!!

 

asdasdasdasdas

 

Yeah, by marrying again ;P

Oh yeah? well, go :finger:

Finally, some sense.
Yes, trust is the first thing in a relationship.
Not only "she cheated on me", but everything else. After all, just a single lie makes all the true things look like lies...or at least doubtful.


Don't let that others peoples mistakes or lies affect you, less your own, since we all learn from mistakes. They're experience, Kio.
A good way of having another point of view is asking; go talk with your mom, dad or sis, about what happens. Just go straigth and talk about it. There is no shame on that.
Even when we usually say "you don't understand me", that's fairly wrong. Whatever we experience, some other people has too.
Go ask, you'll find the weight isn't that heavy when you share it. And if somebody truly cares for you (a friend, a parent...), then it wouldn't be a pain to share problem with you, but on the contrary.
Plus, you can help somebody else with their problems, help him in return. Fight fire with fire

Silent. :goth:
If you write her a letter, you'll be expecting a response, which will be way worse for you.

The "one last chance" letter is a no-no. Keep some pride, at this moment you have to be selfish. The "1 last chance" never works. She would feel pity for you, or worst, could be read as an ultimatum. Don't be pushy.
The "hate letter" will make you feel better for a while, and maybe help you to overcome all this. But in the long run, it will be worse. You'll become bitter with time, not to mention that it will ruin any kind of relationship you can keep with her.
And if it happens that you cross paths, don't show how you truly feel.
be nice and smile, as usual. That would make a good impression, and she will be thinking about the whole thing.

Be silent, and have patience. Heal the wound, keep yourself busy with all that little things that have to be finished. There's other people that care for you, pay them attention.
You went out with a female friend? Much better than going out with guys. She'll tell you what you've made wrong, and probably will be more supporting than the tipical "let's get drunk" boys. And, who knows...

And dammit, do some more portraits! There's a lot, and i'm not going to make them all! :rant: