Relationship Rant Thread

I've had strictly "physical" relationships once or twice. They we're all mutual agreements and we (and luckily) still remained friends, although we have not spoken to each other for years. (there's one or two exceptions to this example, but that's for another time).

The only downside I had was the timing. It got very annoying getting a call to keep my friend "company" late on a Sunday night when I had to work the next day.

 

All true, but what does SHE want? She has a lot of friends, and you can talk to me on the phone, no "date" needed. Why does she need to SEE me?

 

Perhaps you should ask her?

 

Both, damnit! Though mostly the latter. She definitely uses me for emotional support, especially when things are rough. But even hetero chicks will do that, without really intending to do anything. I definitely can't kid her the way I would a guy, though.

Maybe she gets hetero when she's insecure.

 

She says I'm a good friend. That I help her out. Then later, when I pick her up, she's not fully dressed yet when she answers the door.

My girlfriend is okay with me going out with this person only BECAUSE she's a lesbian. There is some element of cheating here.

 

Look...it sounds like you are feeling uneasy about this. So don't do it. Your guts are talking to you. It's really that simple.

 

I've made it plain over the years (14 now) that she is definitely...uh...welcome. I've also mentioned a few a things to GF. Her reply is something along the lines of "I think she likes you." C (the lesbian) is strictly righteous, and doesn't believe in treating people wrong. A (the GF) doesn't seem concerned. It's ME I'm worried about.

I'm mainly trying to sort out C's motivation. I hope she's not afraid of losing me as a friend. On the other hand, if she's going to try to change channels, that's really going to be a problem for me. For one thing, my son and I are nuts about A's little girls.

I'll get back to you after I've thoroughly screwed things up.

I know, I'll get A to swing to the other side, too. Then I'll get a little more sleep.

Scryler, if you'll run away with me, I'll dump both of these two hotties and we can crash at Gaear's, who, I believe, lives somewhere between us. (Is this what you mean by straightening it out, G?)

 

Anybody who would dump 2 hotties for 1 nottie has...problems. Yes. Problems.

More seriously, if the door's been open for 14 years, I'd be asking her what her intentions are. I think you need to know if there's been a change, or if you're reading too much into things.

My first advice still stands...walk away, walk away. (See, I walk. I don't run away. That's one reason why I'm a nottie. )

 

I'm not sure I can bail on someone I've known for 14 years, even if she (I?) crossed the line.

On a different note, I highly recommend activity, of almost any sort, for anyone who thinks they are a "nottie". BTW, both C (who likes to party) and A (who's had 3 children) have a few extra pounds and exercise to compensate. Both do yoga, and look good doing it. Excuse me, I have to think about something else now...

 

No, not problems. A "nottie" most of the time is waaaay better than a hottie. IMHO most hotties seem to lack the intellectual, emotional, and social skills needed for the foundation of any good relationship. I've never gone out with a "hottie" per se, but I have gone out with, and am currently married to, attractive women. I just prefer mature women over any of the younger ones (read: under 35).

Besides, you're a hell of a lot safer juggling two running chainsaws than you are juggling too hotties.

 

You've made my day with that one.

 

I don't think you need to bail. Just listen to your heart. If you've been with A for a long time and if you cannot visualize your life without her in it, you have you're answer.

It does almost sound like C is getting ready to drive "stick" again. If that's the case, and you DO NOT want to switch from A to C, then I think you might need to clear the air with C, if only to alleviate your own concerns, unfounded or not. Otherwise, you'll be strssin over it internally and are more likely to make a costly mistake in the hopes of saving the friendship and protecting your current relationship.