Relationship Rant Thread

Re: Relationships

I say the same thing as has been said.

A problem with love is that you might not be loved back. It's rare for people in a relationship to be on the same page at the same time. Get used to it. The exceptions are rare and actually kind of creepy. Just keep the lines of communications open and try to work things out.

Adult News Flash: You are just NOT going to get what you want. No one is going to meet your expectations, not even you. There are TWO people involved and you are going to have to negotiate.

Don't be afraid of getting hurt, you absolutely ARE going to be. In fact, if you not being knocked around emotionally in your relationship, you are not in one.

Go back to the sex. That's what leads to real love. If it doesn't for both of you, you weren't meant to stay together.

Give her a call.

 

Re: Relationships

Yep. Take the pain and walk away.

GA does make a point about the sex part (please don't jump all over me for that!). A relationship usually is built first on the physical then on the emotional. If you two enjoy each other on an intimate level, there may be a chance, over time, of the emotional catching up. Happy woman do some surprising things.

An a less serious level, consensual, casual sex can be fun too! As long as both sides understand that there's nothing more to the act than just having fun.

Just give some thought to my above-posted opinion. And the one below.

Yes, it sucks monkey ass but that's the way it is. Think about it logically. She was open and honest bout letting you know that this was not going to go anywhere. You were intelligent enough to realize this lack of future and wise enough to end it before someone (you) got seriously hurt. So why are you an asshole?? Both of your honest remarks/actions should be applauded.

At least this way the pain isn't as deep or as lingering. You'll recover soon.

Can you imagine how you'd feel if you kept at this, in futility, and then she dumped you?? You'd probably would flip out, rant/rave/blame her, denying the fact that it was you who wasted so much time and energy on a fruitless endeavor. Then, after she left in a fit or hurt rage you'd (hopefully) realize that it was you who caused this. Now you hate yourself and you have the pain of the break up. Things could have been so much worse for you.

Now go out with your friend, get pissed (BE SAFE!!), have a good cry (yes, cry! It's fine and theraputic), and move on.

EtC's orders. :thumbsup:

 

Re: Relationships

My wife of 10 years now was also afflicted with the previous boyfriends were terds syndrome.

The way I saw it then was, if all I could get from her was a friendship then ... GREAT!

Myself, I tend to not value friendships for what a great thing they are and having her for a friend for about a year helped me see this.

As you can see from my first sentence, she became my wife eventually but she's still a great friend to have.

My advice, if you want it?

Don't sweat it, try being a friend and if you're the right one for her it will eventually come out. If you're not, well you still get a friend out of the deal.

 

Getting a dirk... Or courting a girl...

Hey, ladies and gentlemen! Two questions for you.

Serious one.
I wonder if an officer's dirk of Russian Armed Forces (souvenir edition) is worth 3200 roubles (~100 USD).

Humorous one... Err... Two of them, actually.
I wonder, what is the safe time to let pass, before courting a girl left by her boyfriend (you know, to not get beaten with those small fists and feet... Yes, somehow girls* tend to punch me for no reason :shy:, maybe they know I will not retaliate? Oh. That was the third question - why do they punch me so hard - should I quit joking around?!)

*-usually my friends, not those I have a romantic interest in.

 

Re: Getting a dirk... Or courting a girl...

I'm sure someone would feel the dirk was worth $100, but finding them may be a problem.

Ask her immediately. She is probably feeling badly.
1. She is vurnerable.
2. She will feel better if you ask.

If a women is punching you, presumably not the face, she probably likes you. You can't hit back, of course. Retaliate by tickling or poking. Perhaps you should consider a romantic interest in them, at least physically.

 

Re: Getting a dirk... Or courting a girl...

GA, tickling advice is greatly appreciated, why did not I think about it myself?! It could have saved me from so many embarrassments!
Sirchet, nice dagger! Carpet is lovely-looking too.

 

Relationship advice?

OK, I know this isn't a silly dating forum, but it's the only one where I can trust the peepz to not be complete jerks. So please hear me out...

Here's the gist of the story: I met this girl a couple of weeks ago, she's in a few of my classes, we started to hang out quite a bit. She's generally cheerful, but looks like she's having fun around me, likes my jokes, initiated 'innocent' physical contact a few times, made me hang out with her once or twice last week. In short, I felt like there was a good vibe going.

So I figured, there's a big formal dance coming up, I'll ask her out to test the waters. I did, and she said "I'll definitely go with you but I gotta check my schedule etc". I felt pretty reassured because she made it pretty clear that she's postponing the final word NOT because she didn't want to go with me. So I gave her a few days to make up her mind, we didn't really see each other beyond common greetings.

Today, I tried to flirt a little, but she didn't seem comfortable with it. It was cold so I offered my coat, but she refused strongly. Said I reminded her of home/childhood (at which point I was like FUUUU). When I asked about her "schedule" she said it all worked out, but she wanted to know if we're going "as friends". I said that it pretty much depended on her, hinting that I wouldn't mind to go for more. Then she instantly friend-zoned me, saying she'd only go if it's "as friends". I said "OK" for the hell of it.

Now the question is: should I bother? I mean, she's fairly attractive, and I'll probably want to go to the dance to have fun anyway, but should I bother with anything more? My original plan included flowers and dinner, but at this point is it worth it? Is the girl completely disinterested? Or did I scare her away by pushing too hard?

So to sum it up I'm sort of confused. I've been rejected/friend-zoned before, but it was kind of obvious the girl had no interest. Here, I'm not sure how to deal with the situation - can't tell if the gal's just being too nice, or is being cautious/dishonest/playing hard-to-get. I've got just under two weeks to make plans if any are necessary. I'm planning to skip hanging out with her tomorrow to see the reaction. Other than that, qualified advice is very, very welcome.

 

theres definetly more to find if you dig there, as it doesnt look like it was anything about you that made her think and God knows what she meant by childhood. thats what you should ask yourself if you want to bother or not.

and also, it doesnt look like a matter of bothering. only in bars and stuff we should consider if a girl is worth the bother. becouse in other places, a girl might be too much work and another girl could be really easy but it could also be a situation of easy-come-easy-go and the aftermath of an "easy" girl might be much harder than the initial bother that the other option presents. so far i discovered that the girls who have a big "bother" treshold are very easy and dedicated after you pass the peak.

 

I'm getting a feeling that your pun was very intended <___<

I do know that friend-zone basically means "no", been there done that. It's just that this time it came out of nowhere and didn't seem as definitive... maybe just wishful thinking.

Unfortunately, I already "confirmed" her commitment to the dance, because she seemed to avoid the conversation; that's exactly WHEN I got FZ'd. She seemed uncomfortable talking about it all, and wanted to dump the decision on me but I said, in a word, that hey, nobody's gonna make up her mind for her. That's why I'm wondering whether she's simply being wary since we haven't known each other for more than two or three weeks.

I'm planning to drop any further discussion about the issue with her until she decides to bring it up, and gonna act the "friend", but a busy friend. Will probably ask a few other friends (male and hopefully female) who are going solo to join in and go as a group. Since a romantic outing seems out of question, I'll just go and crash the party hard like us metalheads tend to do. I just hope I don't get too drunk.

 

I agree. Be 'busy'. Be interested in someone else. DON'T be just her friend.

You let her know how you feel, and she did not reciprocate. If she's interested in you as more than a friend, it's time for her to set things straight. If she's not, get the hell OUT of there. She'll keep you hanging on forever.

 

Working exactly on that. Will see how it works out.

 

yeah really.. even though i still support an empathic path