Relationship Rant Thread

I agree with this IN SPADES! If you don't care about the person you're sleeping with, there's something seriously wrong with you. I wouldn't call such a person a whore, I'd call them emotionally retarded. "Whore" is just a symptom. And it wrongly implies female, as Gaear says.

 

I agree, that could be the case. But, I think a sociopath is someone who is indifferent to social norms...doesn't care what others think of them, someone who is unashamed. I thought about that, too.

Sociopaths can behave that way, but I don't think that everyone who fails to get emotionally involved with the other person is a sociopath. They might even be conforming to their group's norms. Unfortunately, being a "playa" isn't considered shameful anyway.

This is more like someone who buys a watermelon, then just licks the outside and throws it away. Eating the icing, but not the cake. I think there is a better term than emotionally retarded, but I can't think of it.

By the way, Mag, we're saying you and your exe hurt because you are NOT this way.

 

Thanks GA.

But on a side note. You know what is shameful? That being a 'playa' ('stud' or anything else) is considered a good thing while if you're doing the same thing but you're a woman this makes you a 'whore'. Gender bias is an ugly thing. Not saying that you think that (because you're actually not saying that ) but I think that the double standards in society are harmful for both genders and relationships.

 

Well... that wasn't what I meant... I didn't mean that my friends approve of such behaviour. It's just that 'playas' are much more socially accepted than 'sluts'. Think about the words themselves,
does 'playa' ('stud', whatever) imply anything negative about the person? Now do the same with 'slut'.

 

I've always been amused by the statistics that run along the lines of 80% of the guys and 20% of the women in high school have had sex. Either the women are the "playa's", or the guys need to to check more carefully who they are in a dark room with. :yikes:

 

It's called "self-reporting", and there are complicated strategies to increase the validity of the information gathered. I simply ignore that as a source of objective information. Even third-person (observer) data should be considered suspect.

 

Agreed 100%
Though i don't think that friendship between males/females are possible.
The feelings/desire factor always is an issue; i won't matter if something actually happens, if is just there.
Personal experience examples (let's not let Mags in the front alone! ) :

-Years ago, i've been introduced to a new group of people to play pnp rpg. One of them was a girl, and when we where introduced, we both liked each other (it was ovbious for anyone). But, she was the wife of one of the guys. I made "contact" with that same guy -don't get me wrong, we just connected, nothing else- and he become one my dearest friends. But his wife issue was there.
I've started to spent lots of time with them, since if one of them was working, i just stay with the other.
But, with the girl was different. We always had that sexual tension, charcteristic of a "soon to be" relationship, that i didn't had with the guy. That's the difference. And nothing happened, cos she was my best friend's wife.
Over time they get divorced. A bit more time, we decided to give us a chance (in secret! Even when it was legal, it would have broken my friend's heart ). We dated for some time, but after a time, we realized we had been "friends" for too long, that we knew too much from each other, and just stopped by common agreement.
We are "soul mates" t'ill today, and all the "sexual issues" aren't...well, an issue. But we agree that having something was kinda necessary.
I think there's a point when you cross a line, that a relationship wouldn't work except as friends. But there's has to be some kind of restriction or "barrier" to reach that point, or eventually something will happen.

-Another -male- friend introduced me with one of their -female- friends.
We grew closer with time, and yes, we liked each other. We had a lot of stuff in common, and become good "friends" (that previous time when you don't know for sure what's going to happen), and spent a lot of time togheter t'ill finally something happened.
We dated some time, but the relationship didn't worked, and we broke up.
With time, we grew too different, to the point that today, we barely speak some words. The broke up wasn't in bad terms (actually, we had some secret affairs thru the years), but something just got screwed, and the friendship was no more. There's no wrong between us, but we don't have interest in the other (except physically speaking, we have too much "skin").
The very opposite of the previous example.

Well, i can say that the so called "whores" aren't so "cold" as they look.
Emotions are there, as you say, but they simply shun them. But they still are affected, at some point, or someone affects them.
Personally, i don't see this as something wrong, as long is a common agreement; i've had some relationships based simply on the physical aspect, but they where in terms that both arranged. :shrug:

Whew, that was longwinded!

EDIT: C'mon people, throw your stories in! :beer:

 

Okay, here's one: Why would a avowed lesbian want to hang out with a heterosexual guy?

 

Maybe she is simply hanging with another guy? Or maybe she is bi-sexual. Maybe she looks on the guy as a brother.

 

I'm a married hetero guy, who has and still hangs out with quite a few gay friends. Now these friiends came as a frionge benefit when I married my current wife. My wife and them were all friends for years and I was friends with them even before getting married. In fact, I tend to prefer hanging with them than with other married couples. They seem more "down to earth" and the jokes we all share are even more hilarious with them.