In the Service of Her Majesty The Queen

I'd like to be very clear that my 'word picture' of the relationship that just ended, does not accurately or completely depict the other party involved (or myself for that matter), nor is it an attempt to identify issues.

It's my word picture after all, boiling up from inside, my method of processing pain. It is not intended as an indictment. Or a judgment.

 

The Little Things​

It's the little things that get me today
the little things that once
flew around me like butterflies
landing in my heart
giving love wings


his smile when I was funny or nice
the crinkles around his eyes
the light that twinkled, danced
when he teased me, cajoled me
laughed with me


his arms behind his head,
another smile, this one cocky
the first time I saw the twinkle
the whole pose one
of self assurance


his hands and fingers
angles of grace, capable hands
that came into their own when
he was least aware of them


the three quarter profile
his mustache, the growth
of beard that turned his
round face lean as a wolf


his mouth...ahhh do I dare
go there? do I dare go there?
...how can I not?


The cupid's bow that turned
his lips up at the corners
the lips I long to trace
with my fingertip
with my tongue


at the time, these little things danced
and flew around me like butterflies,
landing in my heart


when I pull out my mental snapshots
flip through them one by one
I find the butterflies in my heart
have turned into worms
the wings gone
eating my heart alive

 

I hope you had a good day and the night has been going well.


Today, the heat index was 110 - 115 F. That's scalding hot.

We had a thunderstorm that cooled things down and flooded parts of town.

As is my want when I am in pain, I've been writing all day. Right now, I feel written out. A pun yet. Snap.


To all who will sleep tonight on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Sleep as well as you can
when you can...

Wake up and put one
foot in front of another...
and write.

May the Lady smile
on you and me too.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night goes well.

There is so much humidity in the air that it can't hold it all. The roof keeps dripping water from it's eaves, and has ever since I got to work.

Tomorrow, it is supposed to clear up, finally. I hope so...my lawn needs mowing.

Another night of no sleep. I laid there listening to my favorite cat breathe. He isn't doing so well...it sounds like he is drowning. He has diabetes. So I think I need to take him in to the vet tomorrow. If he has to be put to sleep...well that's going to be hard.

Things seem to happen in clusters. Groups of good things. Groups of difficult things. Some type of weird synchronicity. I want the good things
group to come around again.


To all who will sleep on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Sleeping pills work when nothing else will.
Don't be too 'strong' to use them.

Wake up bleary eyed, but get those feet on
the floor and head for the coffee.

May the Lady smile
on you and me too.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night has been going well.

I feel better. Maybe the Lady smiled on me. I expect that I'll have periods when I don't, as these things tend to come in waves or stages, but I think it won't kick my butt so hard, will have a lesser impact. Slept for hours this evening, and that felt good, too.

The cat is better, as well. He didn't have that drowning sound last night when he was breathing.


To all who will sleep tonight on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Take the day's progress
into night and temper your
dreams a bit...

Wake up and start
living.

May the Lady smile
on you and me too.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night goes well.

Everyday I feel a little better. Increments of wellness. Or so I hope.

Tonight, though, I am tired. I slept last night, but not enough to make up for all the time I spent this week staring at the blanket that half covered my face. I tell myself that I will go to bed early for a change...but I know I won't.

A friend of mine and her husband are going on a cruise from Seattle to Alaska. Somewhere along the way, they plan on riding a catamaran to some icebergs. She says they want to see them before they melt and disappear. But there are so many fires burning around Seattle, that they are afraid their flight will be delayed and they will miss the cruise ship. She said there are over 100 fires burning.


To all who will sleep tonight on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Curl up under the covers,
let your eyes close and fall
into sleep.

Wake up a little less tired.


May the Lady smile
on you and me too.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night went well.

I am sleeping more, but I'm still tired. I must have used up a lot of energy...my reserves are shot. that's what you get for messing around with a vampire? Maybe.


To all who sleep tonight on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Sleep well
Sleep sound
Restore yourself

Wake up with more energy


May the Lady smile
on you and me too.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night goes well.

I went eyeball to eyeball with a lizard this evening. It was on a post at eye level so I decided to see what it was like. It stared at me the entire time with the eye on the side of it's head that was facing me. I could tell because the eye moved when I did. Wonder what it saw? A giant eyeball staring at it, I guess. Other than the eye, it never moved. I guess I wouldn't either if the situation was reversed. Can't tell much about an eyeball that tiny. No cold evil glint (like a chicken's eye for ex), couldn't tell if it's pupils were slitted...they appearred round but that could have been from the time of day. Google says lizards have a 3rd eye, in the middle of their foreheads.

And I saw the great horned owl at work this evening, as well. It is very large.


To all who will sleep tonight on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Sleep.
Wake up and do the day.


May the Lady smile
on you and me too.

G'Night.

 

Yea, when I was travelling Italian land on foot, I have met some nice lizards too!

This one, for example, is The Miniature Giant Space Lizard! Enjoy.

 

I did. Lol. Quite a picture.

 

I hope you had a good day and the rest of the night goes well.

Nothing much to talk about today.

I am having a wave of the blues. It will pass. (Knocks self on the head, "Hear that, brain? Pass, damn it.)

It's Friday night again. I think there are entirely too many Fridays in the month for my liking. They should come every 10 or even 15 days. Maybe just once a month. We can just skip Fridays and maybe Saturdays too for that matter, jump right from Thursday to Sunday. The Union guys would be happy...finally a 4 day week. Working week, that is.

Ah well. Another fantasy.


To all who will sleep tonight (haha) on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Do not think of Fridays,
just go to sleep.

Wake up on Sunday.

May the Lady smile
on me, and all of you too.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night goes well (what's left of it).

Another night w/o sleep.

Another dark moon coming up.


To all who will sleep tonight on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Sleep. For a change.
Then wake up and put
your feet on the ground.

May the Lady smile
on me, and you too.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night went well.

I took care of Saturday...slept almost all day. Yay for me!

So obviously, I have nothing to report...not even dreams.


To all who sleep tonight on this side of the earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Sleep, sleep, sleep.

Wake up groggy.

May the Lady
smile on me.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night went well.

I saw 2 turkeys run across the road to where I work. Young ones I think, or female.

And I think I saw the owl again. Other staff tell me there is more than one owl that lives in the live oaks and forest immediately surrounding the workplace. I suppose that's why there are so few squirrels here...and I haven't seen many baby racoons either, just the full grown ones that come to dig around in our dumpster.

I have never seen a skunk anywhere here in Florida where I have been. Or smelled one, either.

The dark moon is here, right now in fact, according to my calendar. Good. Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight.


To all who will sleep tonight on this side of the dark earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Soak up some sleep tonight,
deep down into your bones.

Wake up feeling strong.

May the Lady smile
on me.

G'Night.

 

I hope you had a good day and the night goes well.

The Perseid meteor shower occurs tomorrow night. Best viewing is after the moon goes down, around 10 pm or so EST (I think, maybe 10 pm where ever you are.). I've never seen it, so I hope the skies are clear. I guess it's not the most spectacular one, only about 1 per minute, but it has the best time for viewing of most that we are likely to see this year. I don't know why they call it a meteor shower when it is only dust. I always think of meteors as being at least boulder size. Too many movies, I guess.


To all who will sleep tonight on this side of the still dark earth,

The Nightly Mission:

Breathe. Just remember
to breathe and let sleep
come as it wills.

Wake up with rosier cheeks.


May the Lady smile
on me.

G'Night.