A funny thing happened...

I've got my wedding day coming up, and I've been saving it up all these years.

I got the jars to prove it... :evil_laug

 

Murraya Beat the Dog Piss Out of Rufus

Old thread brought back to life for a funny story ...

My gang of adventurers were searching out the Temple level 4 dungeon. We came upon the 'exotic' and 'dazed' concubines, better known as Cocoa Puff and Fig Newton, but actually named Murraya and Paida. Like everyone else in the Temple, they attacked me on-sight (because god knows even concubines will see it as their duty to defend the Temple from intruders, even when they're impossibly outmatched against a heavily armed and armored gang). Now, I can never bring myself to actually slay these defenseless ladies, so once again it was time to go mano a mano and knock them out with subdual damage.

My badass fighter gal (we all have at least one) got the duty for Paida and promptly killed her right away with her bare fists somehow, much to my dismay. ("Tell Valden I love him! Ack!") I had just recruited Rufus in Hommlet to substitute for Elmo, who had died tragically at the hands of a hill giant, and he got the call for Murraya. Sheathing his sword, the mighty dragon-slayer and leader of the village troops squared off with the naked concubine and proceeded to get his ass thoroughly and decisively kicked. A series of relentless blows from hands, feet, knees, and elbows all met their mark, and poor old Rufus ended up on the floor, pleading "Please ... no more! No more!" My fighter gal had to step in with the "Okay, I think he's had enough" routine before Murraya could be compelled to yield. She finished off the beat-down by securing the customary victory trophy in the form of Rufus' ring of protection +1, which she removed from him as he lay wallowing in a pool of his own blood and pee.

(Okay, I made that last part up.) At any rate, it's funny how things work out some times. It's too bad we don't have a custom "I beg of you, tell no one about this!" line for moments such as these.