101 Reasons Sorcerers are Better than Wizards

Q:Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A:Because the Wizard yelled: "Thou shall not pass!"

[Jingle & Tape recorded laughter]

 

Q what do you call a room full of wizards?

A a air pocket

Q how do you confuse a Wizard

A give him a bag of M&Ms and tell him to put them in alphabetical order

Q what is the mating call of the wizardress?

A I think im drunk

 

guys we're talking about dnd wizards here not blondes.

try thinking of faults/weaknesses wizards have have that sorcerers don't have like class skills, ablities, spells perday and weapon proficiencies.

a wizard will typically have a high int, reasonable dex and con, and low str, wis and cha.

a sorcerer will typically have a high cha, reasonable dex, con and int, and low str and wis.

sorcerers are proficent with spears where wizards aren't which shows that sorcerers know which end you're spose to poke the other guy with.

wizards are obiviously lacking in social skills.

wizards are obiviously smart having a high int but don't have much common sence as wis is one of thier dump stats.

wizards need to carry a lot of fire lighters (wands and scrolls) to cast more spells per day.

wizards may know more spells but are really inflexable because of having to prepare spells in advance.
"what did the wizard say when he met a hill giant?"
"why oh why did I prepare detect secret doors instead of expeditious retreat today?"

Q.whats the differnce between a wizard and a bat?

A. at least a bat goes out at night.

Q. whats the similarity bewteen a wizard and a zombie?

A. they both have no life.

 

What about a blonde wizard?













ps..........All hail King Torg!!!

 

I'm with you, sirchet. Ted can use these or not as he sees fit. I'm sure he'll edit them to make them appropriate to what his needs are. I think the better ones will go in the front of the book, and the rest in the back. Besides, Cuj, he asked for stupid jokes at a wizard's expense. They might not always follow rational lines. What you're describing isn't quite as stupid as most of these. Half of mine are flippin' elephant jokes, the rest blonde. I think we can skip m&m's, though. Substitute ioun stones or something. :shrug:

 

A pun like BloodNinja would be nice. I changed Eroticism
to Eagle's Splendour. Have a shot at it yourselves. This is
my attempt... well, it sucks anyway.

Q: What's the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer going on a date?
A: The former puts on his wizard hat and robes and casts Eagle's Splendour, the
latter has enough splendour to do without clothes.

Yeah... it sucks... When it comes to jokes it's up to you
native speakers. Heck, I don't even know many jokes in Polish. :drunk:
Sooo... fire away...!!!

 

That one ought to make the cut, for sure!

 

ok well ive never claimed to be good with jokes or have any originals but ill try to do better

Q) why did the wizard swim the river to escape the orcs?

A) he didnt have levitate memorized

Q) when wizards die do the vultures eat them?

A) no even vultures have some taste


A wizard enters Ye Olde Necromantic Spell Component Shoppe. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of brain offerred at this particular shoppe. He questions the proprietor about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for elven brain?"
"Three gold pieces an ounce."
"How much does it cost for dwarven brain?"
"Four gold pieces an ounce."
"How much for sorcerer brain?"
"One thousand gold pieces an ounce."
"Why is sorcerer brain so much more?"
"well it hasnt been used yet"

"What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead wizard on the road? There are wagon skid marks in front of the skunk.

What's funnier than a dead wizard?
-A dead wizard in a jester's outfit.

what do you have against wizards?
a really big axe

how long does it take for a wizard to light a lamp
depends on how many books he has to look through to find the spell

What do wizards do to get their kicks?
They drool over the pictures in "witch" magazine!

What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the cinema?
Miss most of the film!