Reading the Fine Print

I was member of another gaming forum recently. Most of the stuff was for reviewing or discussing games, video games, movies, and tv shows. I made the mistake of posting a thread which I thought was a reasonable discussion.

Here is my original OP:

Title: Girls at the Gaming Table

Please tell me what you think. Am I blaming female gamers here? Or am I blaming male gamers who act badly? Is this OP biased against female gamers?

On the other forum, I was ganged up on and accused of being a misogynist and attacking the female gender.

 

Well, my tabletop GM/DM invited his girlfriend to play with us and at first we thought she was favoured by him... but he eventually started treating us all on equal terms. I guess it depends on the GM... You, see my GM was playing Warhammer with another group of players and their GM had invited his girlfriend to play... so suddenly she became the most 'powaful' & 'awsum' character there was... You see where I'm getting.

 

The only probem I ever had with a female gamer was when my sister (gods rest her spirit) was playing. She was quite the psychopath (for a non-evil cleric) and I had to reign her in from killing everyone in a tavern over a slight insult. Now THAT's gaming!

And yeah, she was treated as fairly as the other players. No need for me to have gotten my ass kicked by my best friends, if I even attempted to do that.

Skeletom, as a twice married man, father, and lover of women, I do not think your post is an attack of any sort, just a telling of circumstances you've either encountered or heard of. I read your post and found nothing that could be construed as an "attack". However some people are overly sensitive about these and all sorts of) issues.

Letting GF's or even wives play, is fine, but simple ground rules governing "favouritism" need to be laid out before playing. Otherwise.... well, you know what can happen.

Hell, even GETTING a GF or wife to play and keep an interest in usually a monumental undetrtaking in itself, unless you're already involved with a gamer.

 

I guess you want opinions on this.

The first issue is identical to any case of a DM playing favorites among the players.

The second issue is that of annoying interactions between players, of any sex.

Both things occur with or without women present. And you framed it as a sexual issue. So you decide. I don't have an opinion.

Groups with women seem just as problematic as groups without. It doesn't seem worthwhile to worry about group interactions beyond a certain point.

This post seems incomplete. Your solution to these problems isn't present. Was IT sexist?

Hey, look! This is my post number 666!

 

I'm with GA82 on this.

 

And that sounds almost exactly what happened with the group I was with. Except we were playing Vampire. The GM's GF was secretly an infernalist vampire with all sorts of extra powers.

That's a relief. I was beginning to think I didn't understand the English language anymore. But, yeah some people are very sensitive ...maybe a little too sensitive.

Well ...my intent was not to be sexist or even come off sounding like one. I admit that I probably could have used different terminology to broach the subject. I was merely trying to have a discussion about gender and roleplaying. I realize that there are more female gamers now since the 1970's. And I'm all for it. I was going for a discussion on the issue to hear about other experiences - not to say women shouldn't play in rpgs. I was only making a suggested solution for the first situation - I didn't have one for the second. I was driving at getting possible solutions from gamers who had similar experiences. But instead I got the Spanish Inquisition and received the following attacks:

And the worst one by far posted by a female gamer:

All my responses were in trying to get them to see that my OP was not meant to be an attack on female gamers. I had to keep telling them that they were arguing against something that I wasn't even saying. And I admit that some of my responses were a bit sharp, but only because I thought their responses were sharp and way off target. But, alas, I decided that she was right and that forum was not for me.

 

My opinion:

:clap:

True in every word.

I always had girls in my rpg groups. Aside of the ovbious reasons, i love to have them, they always come up with incredible solutions, and had a completely different point of view of guys. One of my best players is a girl, plays with a paladin, as is absolutely different from the other guy that plays with a paladin, that's why i allowed them both in the party.
Yet, i must admit that there's always problems. My rpg group started with 7 members and me as DM, and 2 or 3 of them rotating (this means i had more or les 10 players). I've dated with almost all the girls that played with us, and now my group is completely disbanded, we're only 3 guys. And was nobody's fault, as i didn't do what you say (tho i've seen it too many times in other groups).

The thing is, when girls enter a group of guys playing rpg, there's a good chance of things getting screwed.
The opposite works the same. i've started to play in a group of four girls, and...well, things get screwed too.

It is not that women can't play...but if you got both genders playing, be ready, as relationshits will happen.

 

Nah, sounds more like my mom, with less expletives!

I've haven't seen (heard) anything like that since I was living at home! :yikes:

Be thankful it wasn't a voice chat forum. You'd be buying new speakers!

Or new eardrums.

BTW, those responses you posted proves my point about the over sensitivity of people. If only more people would take the time to read something over, once or twice, that upset them the first time the read it. So many seem to go off half-cocked these days without taking that brief moment to relax, reflect, and think things through.

Shooting from the hip doesn't make you hit your target any easier, it just gets others hit as well. And that's where things begin to snowball.

 

Somehow, online posts seem to affect people a lot. I know I have gotten my feelings hurt when I am pretty sure nothing offensive was intended.

IMO, some of it is from the lack of vocal inflection and body language. (I have other thoughts on why people respond - in general - the way they do, but I don't think anyone wants a lengthy dissertation! Probably cause a few flames all by itself!)

It would make an interesting study, IMO. Too bad I'm not in school.

 

Must.... Resist....Smart....Ass...Remark!!


Seriously, Scryler, you're dead on in your opinion that missing body language and vocal reflection impact postings in a serious way. As social creatures, we need the visual and aural stimulus to properly communicate with one another. It's been that way for our species for millions of years. Learning to communicate intelligently with one another was the one major achievement for our species.

Sad, though, how so many of our species seem to lack the proper communications skills, even after all this time! :roll:

 

And here we go, Gaear being polite and charming with the girls.
You're the kind of guy that creates problems between genders in a rpg group :no: