Cooking

I've had a good experience today. I was asked to watch one of my buddy's kids, a 6 year old boy. I haven't babysat in a looonnggg time. I don't mind kids except when there are more than one of them, which turns them into a gang. Anyways, the boy's a nicely behaved child, not a problem at all. I made him one of the most perfect gastronomic children's dishes ever to come down the pipe. I made him hairy hot dogs.

Now, you may ask yourself..."WTF is a hairy hot dog?!" A hairy hot dog is every child's favorite food, or at least in the top 3. A hairy hot dog is made by breaking a handful of spaghetti noodles in half and driving 15 - 20 spaghetti halves all the way through a hot dog and then boiling them until done. That's it. That's a hairy hot dog. I'm a simple man and the simplest things work best. Kids love just the name alone, but when they see the hairy hot dog and how different it is from a plain old regular hot dog, they love it a lot. I told him to make sure he tells his ugly old man to make him hairy hot dogs from now on. I didn't really need to tell him that because I left my fingerprint on his soul today by broadening his horizon and introducing to him only the finest of culinary works. If I never see him again in my life, he will be 80 years old and he'll remember fondly being watched by his old man's friend that made him hairy hot dogs and played a few games with him and wrestled a bit and went for a walk in the woods. This is really what life is about, hairy hot dogs and imprinting decent things on impressionable children so they have a less of a chance to grow up to be !@#$%^&.

 

Make one of your own and you can REALLY indoctrinate him.

 

Ya, I've already got one that's 16 years old so his fascination of hairy hot dogs has long since wore off. I have given thought to having another kid because they make great tax write offs but the problem is finding decent breeding stock and then getting rid of her after she drops the calf and getting sole custody of that one too. Bleeargh. The thought of spending another year and a half in family court gives me gas.

 

Do like I did, have the baby 3 years after the divorce. Neither of us was in much of a position to do anything to each other legally, so we cooperated. Yeah I know, "Crazy Talk!"

I never had Hairy Hot Dogs, I was more of a fan of chopped dogs in my macoroni. I'll eat anything that is set before me, but I don't eat hotdogs OR macaroni nuch these days.

Thanks for the hairy dog idea, though. :thumbsup:

 

If a couple has 1 child together, gets divorced, both man and woman remarry but they sneak around on their new spouses and have another child together without the other spouses really knowing the truth, are the 2 children full blood brothers/sisters or half-siblings? Of course, the newer husband would have responsibility for raising your new child because the truth couldn't come out or do anything good for anyone if it did.

I guess you would just have to make sure to keep it cool and let everybody think they are half-siblings. At least until the children were adults or something. :twisted:

AND, if after that, you have a kid with your new wife, would you and your ex-wife's new child that you sneaked around to get and the new child with your newer wife be quarter-siblings? elvicthr

That would get confusing. :evilgrin:

 

They are full blood siblings. Marital status is irrelevant.

 

I tried a great and rather unique way of cooking this weekend. I took my son out to the woods and made a fire by the shoreline. I read about something cool in an old In-Fisherman magazine. We had blackened steaks and blackened walleye. What you do is get the fire to a point where it's burned through so the inside is all embers and the outside is all black. You should have a few good sized logs. All you do is place the meat on the black part of the logs until they're cooked properly. That's it. Watch them and tend them and they are really excellent. They came out pretty good even though it was my first time doing this. I recommend it. Just remove the few pieces of black wood from the meat when they're done, unless you like straight carbon seasoning. Don't need no steenking grills or pans in the woods. This appeals to my all natural, jackpine savage upbringing.

 

My God! I've got to drag my grill out of the cellar now.

I ... I've learned so much *tears up* from you guys.

heh heh Hairy Hot Dogs ... that could be sooooo misinterpreted.

 

You HAD to go there?

 

Can do something similar with potatos...just lay them in those embers for a half hour or so, peel all the black off, and eat. Wastes quite a bit of the potato, and sometimes is only half done, but, hey...who's complaining when it's over a fire, anyway.

 

I just finished grilling 7 one pound ribeye steaks perfectly. They are awesome. I think I'm going to go on Hell's Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay and prove to him how people prefer my grilling simple things to his intricate/delicate dishes with 34 different kinds of spices, searing stuff on the stovetop and then cooking that same thing in the oven. Fine dining my @$$! People want a big chunk of meat, cooked well, not an elvers souffle drizzled with a maple wine reduction and a side of fois gras with mustard seeds and spring onions! AND they expect to pay a reasonable price as opposed to his $2700 food, lol.

 

Did sweet potatoes and corn on the grill, perfect sides to the BBQ pork tenderloin.

No wrapping of the sweet taters, just washed, punctured and right on the grate.

Corn... soaked for awhile and right on the grill (yes, husk on).

The pork, oh man... Butterflied, marinated in a slightly diluted apple BBQ sauce, grilled carefully and then finished with some more sauce.

 

Apple BBQ sauce? Now that's a new one on me. I've never seen anything like that. I'll take a closer look at the grocery stores when I next go but I don't think they carry that here. I would try it though.

 

It's Steven Raichlen's (BBQ University guy) Smokey Apple BBQ sauce.

Also have his Chipotle Molasses sauce. Probably going on chicken.

The rest of the apple BBQ sauce will go into some burgers.

Both were sampled multiple times before deciding. Got N's stamp of approval too!

I'm very picky about BBQ sauces so I don't recommend ones lightly.

I actually used to wait a year for the Hickory Hills Summer Fest to foll around just to get a local BBQ sauce I fell in love with. Best F**ing pork ribs ever!!

 

Note to self... Watch the f***ing heat when your making a garlic rosemary infused oil!!!!

Just wasted 2 cups of good Extra Virgin Olive Oil. :censored:

Plan B... Adobo seasoning for the Chicken Kabobs.