'Cavern' Story Discussion Thread

The ice-storm isn't damaging the leech much, but it does recoil, pulling back it's hand, giving her time to cloak herself with ice.

The Ice Blast didn't do much damage to the the leech, but did cause it to recoil, giving her time to shield herself with ice.

Ice Storm seems like too big of a spell. And the language seemed a little awkward.

Most writers hate editors, so feel free to tell me to piss off.

 

Continuity warning:

You interchange "ice storm" and "ice bolt". An ice storm would cover a large area, whereas an ice bolt whould be some sort of magical icicle-type missle created and magically hurled at the target. Sort of like an icy magic missle. IMHO, she'd probably use "ice bolts" not wnating to catch herslef or her familiar in the area of an ice storm.

Besides if you thought the Inn Keeper was mad now....

Suggestion/Opinion:

Also, maybe a more descriptive section for her teleporting out of the room, instead of stating she teleports out. She could wave her hands and dissappear in a curtain of shimmering light or such. You can then mention the teleoprt spell as not being one of her strong points after she materializes a short distance away.

 

Ice Storm seems like too big of a spell. And the language seemed a little awkward.

 

I made up Ice Blast. Like Ice Storm, but cone-shaped area of effect.

Shutting up on language... :thumbsup:

 

You don't have to shut up...it makes me think. That's good.

 

Not shutting up on language...:thumbsup:

 

SUGGESTION:

You could try "Cone of Cold" which has a larger area and more power than a standard ice storm (cone shaped, starting from the hand), or remane it somehow. That would fit your ideas and would make more sense being cast in a smallish room.

This would work with your protagonist getting ticked off at her familiar flying into danger.

You could even keep the ice bolts and make the Raven a little dim, flying into the path of the projectiles, but I think that might change the story/relationship angle too much towards the humorous/comical side.

 

Hey! Good idea. I forgot about that spell.

Yeah. I don't want the raven to be comical. I have never tried to write funny stuff, probably come off cludgy. (A new word I just made up, I think.)

 

I need to write another interlude about the figure in the grotto.

By now, some monsters have taken up residence in the cavern. These monsters should be very strong, or grow in strength while they abide in the cavern, as they will be closest to the figure, and feature in the final battle. They should not be indefeatable, however.

Smaller monsters will be drawn by the figure's calling, also, and the high level monsters will likely eat some or most of them or absorb them or whatever monsters do to each other. (What do monsters do to each other, anyway?) No one will be allied, yet...that, I think, would occur over time?

So...please give me some monsters. :yes: Even if I do not use them, they help me think and narrow down the choices (none of which I have, yet). :nerd:

 

SUGGESTION REQUEST REPLY:

Based on your description of the grotto figure, you could definitely use Yuan-Ti, humanoid snake creatures. Lessee... Torso of a man, normal(muscular) humanoid arms, snake head, torso tapers away to long tail (no legs). They have classes, can level up, cast priest and wizard spells...

If you played any of the Baldur's Gate or Icewind Dale games you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. :thumbsup:

For smaller monsters, lizard men work. The Yuan-Ti would feed on the weakest/unworthy/losers of competitions/etc leaving the best and strongest (though still weak by comparison). As lizard men have shamans, you could even tie in a zealotry/religious deal between the lizards and the idol (ex: they think it's a god).

As for being drawn to the calling, any other humanoid monster works. Goblins and the like would become attracted to the area if they sensed a power they could rally behind. It could even attract giant animals (ex: snakes, lizards) drawn by some instinctive call or such.

Did I give you enough to ponder yet? oke:

 

Read the latest entry.

One word... EXCELLENT! :largeclap

Read it, felt it, EXPERIENCED it. That's what I look for when I read. And yes, I read A LOT.

Well Done!! :thumbsup:

 

I have a question.

When told that rage is bitter and cold vs rage that is hot, which type of rage do you think is the worst? Has the most power? Would be the most destructive to the individual feeling it, as well as those it is turned on?

I hope someone(s) puts out an opinion on this...I tend to think the bitter cold rage is the worst, as the hot rage seems to get over with sooner.

But what do you think?

Edit: I've made a decision...I'm going with cold. Means I have to go back and change some things, but that's easy.

I am still open to a discussion on this, so c'mon dissuade me...

 

Cold rage would seem to have more self-control. More dangerous in one sense, less in another.

 

I read where cold rage lasts the longest...and does have self-control, even to the point of consuming all sanity and rationality.

 

You've made 666 posts! Awesome!!

Cold rage fits best IMHO. This thing has lain dormant, waiting for it's chance.