Relationship Rant Thread

So THAT explains the giggling fits I get in the produce section.

Doesn't explain the staring contests I get into with the other produce, though. :scratchhe

 

Oh noes, oh noes.

The old produce section jokes! Let's not go there. I can beat you out. (jk)

Now, the staring contest is...unusual, I'd say.

 

Oh really?? :eyebrow:

In another lifetime, I was a produce specialist for 3 years at a home shopping company working our of our local Jewel stores. I learned A LOT.... about produce.

 

Staying up is work? Back to the doctor for you! oke:

 

Thinking of flooding my house with sweet peachiness!

Can't believe I am commenting on my own comment!

 

I don't know...he has been working very hard...evidently staying up isn't his issue!

You are the teacher, oh great one...that decision is your's, N'est-ce pas?

 

O, Morticia! When you speak French, it drives me WILD! (need a moustache smiley)

 

Mortitia? No! Never! According to Wikipedia, Mortitia 'frequently enjoys cutting the buds off of roses which she discards, keeping only the stems.'

I would never do that...the petals are simply too sensuous, hmm?

You have a thing for vampires, GA82?

 

Actually, Thing was a cousin or something. A disembodied hand. (avoiding the question)

I'm not sure about Morticia being a vampire. The woman who played her on the tv show was a pin-up model during WWII, and still rocked 20 years later.

The character was an wondrous example of a women completely at ease with her unbridled sensuality while simultaneously being always refined and elegant. Heady stuff for a liitle boy used to simpler models of feminity.

 

It was always my understanding that vampires were exactly that. Probably wouldn't be true, though.

You wanna hear my vampire story?

 

Yes, please. :gotmyatte

 

You said 'Please." Very good, GA82.

It's really kind of silly. But it is true.

I was in my teens, early teens. My parents hadn't moved me to a bedroom closer to their's yet, so I must have been about 13.

I was quite impressionable, very visual, highly sensitive. I read Braum Stoker's Dracula. I didn't know for sure that it was fiction (had the same problem with the Tarzan books, heh...another story for another time). It scared me half to death, and at the same time totally enthralled me. (Very delicious fear, no?) I wanted to be a vampire...longed to be a vampire. But terrified at the same time. Who wants to be dead?

I was afraid, if there were vampires, that they would somehow know that part of me longed for vampire-hood, would sense the yearning, and follow the scent on the air, (like those Nazgul that could sense the ring) and come to my home and....get me, make me into a vampire. A lot of teen libido going on, as well.

So I got a bunch of garlic cloves and rubbed them all around the windows in my bedroom and nailed a small silver cross (from a necklace) on the wall above the head of my bed. I would lie there for hours, conflicted, warring with my imagination. Sometimes I would take the cross off the nail and tape it to my forehead, so I could finally fall asleep.

Now, ok. Teen stuff. I outgrew it. (Met real vampires, heh.)

But surely, that bedroom had to stink. I didn't just garlic the windows once. Several times. But nobody ever said a word. Nor did anyone ever notice the cross. I think that's the part that is really strange.

Dracula, the original version, is heady with romance.

Moderators...feel free to delete this. Don't know if it crosses the line or not.

 

Good story! Of course the moderators won't delete it.

You may have rmembered some of your feelings from then, but you didn't express them improperly.

I had quite a few issues from my childhood, some of which are STILL issues. I'll try to sort out a story to tell.