Relationship Rant Thread

I'm with Gaear on this one, insofar as all of your talents/abilities are concerned. Song-writers, imo, are special...right up there with poets. Ditto with being able to write music. AND you're good-looking. (You should be glad I'm not in Poland.) Give it time...some lucky girl will snare you, sooner or later.

Just listened to your music...didn't realize you didn't use a singer. You guys are quite good. I don't know much about music...how it's made/created. Do you write it? Or play it and see where it goes? Whichever, you and your group are talented.

 

The man who put on the workshop was Jackson Katz, a prevention guru of sorts. (I am not particularly enthralled with Katz, but I am also probably an exception. His work is worthy, no question there, but I am often wary of gurus.) I don't think the documentaries were his. One was titled: 'Killing Her Softly.' The other, I think -- based on the info from a search -- was produced by the same people. A college. Sorry I can't do better than that, but I got attacked by a virus or spyware when I was looking at one of the search results, so I was a little distracted. Be warned. (Find who made 'Killing Her Softly' and you'll find the college and the other title.)

Recently, the media seems to be feminizing men, or so I've heard. I'm not sure what I think about that or how I feel about the impact or consequences.

 

I dunno, the experience would do Maggit some good. If he survived, that is. :biggergri

 

Yessssss. We will have some fun. Lotssss of fun.

 

I confess: I am a darn good bad girl.

 

Eh?
When did i say that i was a loser?

Is it that ovbious? :nervous:

Same here, Mags. (tho it wasn't really a "big love")
In my case she actually married the other guy.
Then we finally had something. A year later she divorced. :scratchhe

Aww c'mon...women love shy guys.
Plus, you're in a band, musicians score a lot.

Sorry for my english...drunk again :drunk:

 

I've heard that women are fiercer fighters than men. I think that's an urban legend, though.

btw, I think you've disclosed it before, but I can't remember. What war were you in?

 

I belong to a very hardcore feminist online group. I mostly lurk, since I rarely feel that I can bring anything meaningful to the 'conversation.'

I gathered up my courage and asked them about the protection issue. Here is the gist of the response:

Here's a female involving herself in the discussion of nurturance/
protection.
I think it's misleading and even dangerous to assign any trait
exclusively to one gender, as in "(All) men or women are
nurturing/protective" or to assume that a particular gender has a lock
on any characteristic. Some people call that type of generalizing
"essentialism" and it's what got us into trouble in the first place.
It has been largely responsible for keeping women out of positions of
power and responsibility, except within the home.
Of course there are tendencies in one direction or another, due in large part to
sex-role conditioning. But that's not necessarily the whole story.
There are still a lot of open questions about all this, and I think
the brain research that is going on will tell us a lot about that.
Just wait 30 or 40 years!
Without trying to be scientific or objective about it, it seems
obvious to me that many men are -- for good or for ill -- protective
of women and children. The "ill" part emerges when protection turns
into a protection racket, as in abusive men toward women.
I would not say that men are especially protective of other men,
but certainly that tendency is strong in war, for instance, when men
risk their lives for their buddies. Fighting for and protecting their
fellow soldiers is one of the main factors that keeps young men
enlisting and re-enlisting. (It will be interesting to learn how
women soldiers play into this, now that they are permitted to go to
war.)
The "I've got your back" phenomenon is strong in business and
professions too. Thus we have the "old boys clubs": "I'd rather have
patients die, or the economy fail than to rat on my buddy." i.e. "I
will protect you from law suits, ruination of your reputation etc."
Protection and nurturing are often the prerogative of people in
relatively more powerful positions than the one to be protected or
nurtured. Many men recognize that, and run from the possibility of
being protected or nurtured by a woman, because they fear a loss of
power. Even while they crave the comfort of it, some of them are
scared to death.
I think it's of great importance to keep reminding ourselves that
both males and females are capable of the whole range of feelings and
attitudes. Also to recognize that the traits mentioned here are not
well defined, and that depending on circumstances, they can be
positive or negative.

I believe this answers your question or statement on absolutes? btw, the opening sentence is a relatively nice way of chewing me out. This was written by a widely known feminist with some substantial publishing credibility. I am glad I took a risk and asked about this subject.

So thank you.

 

The women I've been around weren't fierce, they were professionals, they just did their job under extremely adverse conditions.

I don't know if it was a war. I was with some I corps guys in the Honduras. We were helping the "good" guys, who were trying to stop the "bad" guys from taking over Nicaragua and other places. In Nicaragua, the bad guys won, then later stepped down when they lost an election. Maybe they weren't such bad guys after all.

But they were Communists, and that's usually a bad thing, often horrendously so. Hitler murdered 12 million people; Stalin had already murdered 20 million. Even beheaded the Red Army.

I was there only in a combat support role. There were women fighters on both sides, including the US units. They did their jobs.

Edit: Your feminist friend seems to have the gist of it. It's silly to assume that one group does this and the other group does that, especially since they aren't really groups.

 

Yeah, i think is quite accurate.
Using a logical point of view.

Of course, there are protective women, and nurturing men, but they do it different than the opposite genfer.

Women are innately nurturing, cos they carry the baby, it's part of their body in a way. While men contribute with this, we would probably never understand what does a woman is thinking/feeling when is simply sitting comfortably, smiling to herself and holding their belly.

On the other hand, women will never understand why the f**k guys get so angry when they check the guys closet, or leave the brush tooth on the guy's house. This is rather simple, you're trespassing!
And this is why men are protective: the female and the cub are his property. Are part of his territory. The woman is the one he choose, and the child is the one that will keep their bloodline, this is why a guy may be more nurturing, but actually is more of being proud, like GA82. A son is a legacy.

woot, i think i derailed

 

Hot button statement...but I have a headache...I'm too tired...I'm... :roll:

I will likely address it later. But...unlike another...I am not up for it (right now).

 

I am curious, GA82...your sig. Is that new? Or have I just not been paying attention?

 

Yes, it's new, and yes you haven't been paying attention. (pouts) What's a guy got to do to get some attention around here? (preens) Do you like it? I just had it done. :gotmyatte

The old one was "B42L8 NIL8". I think I'll get a tat that says NIL8.

I don't like the phrasing. It's a thought I had about the definition of self. If you understand it, tell me a better way to say it.