Relationship Rant Thread

Sorry to disappoint you.

Been some interesting discussion...didn't want to derail it.

I, too, love the roller coaster. That's all I'm saying.

Oh...except IMO you lose more than time. You lose freedom as well.

 

I have fear. For example, I'm hiding from someone in the other room. So, I'm not fearless, I just don't let it rule me. When the worst happens, it usually has been accompanied by greater bests. Guide yourself to those, and accept the worst when it happens.

If you knew the love of your life was going to die in a year, even before you met her, would you turn your back?

 

How do you lose freedom?

 

Well, yes, exactly my point. That's why i've used the " ".

In any case, we really connected; i felt i could tell her anything, and the same happened to her.
I think that she's the only one that really knows me; of course, that brought problems as most of my dates usually get upset by the fact that i ahve a so close female "friend"

Actually, i don't see anything wrong about this.
I've said "you won't get anywhere with me, i'm a loser", she said "that's ok by me". We didn't hurt anyone, and where honest with each other. Of course, time proved that that doesn't work neither, since i had to "broke up" when she started to have true feelings about me.

I was going to rant a bit more, but i'm too drunk and happy to write something ... coherent :beer:

Yeah. "Love" wouldn't be so fun if it weren't so complicated



GA82
I don't think you should get things clear with C.
If you ask her and she says "i want something with you", and you're not sure about it, you'll be in troubles.
If you ask her and she says "what the f..???", then you'll look like you don't know what you want (or the contrary, you'll look ovbious ), and you'll be in troubles too, since she won't look for you as support anymore.

Maybe she's one of those though looking people, but needs a shoulder to rest a bit, to share the weight. If she's lesbian, she'll probaby choose a male shoulder, since getting intimate with a girl may look like she "wants something" (or at least that's what she may think).

 

You have to consider another human being when you make choices/decisions.

I don't think men have to do this as much as women. (I was going to say that opinion was probably biased, but I don't think it is, really. I think it's true.)

And yeah, there's all this growth stuff and getting out of yourself stuff (that I agree with), but you still...bottom line...lose some degree of freedom.

 

Bingo! :thumbsup:

Asking her put's stuff in play I'm not ready for yet. And she definitely uses me as emotional support. She even says so.

Maybe she answers the door underdressed sometimes as a reward for being a friend. More likely she gets reassurrance or a feeling of power when she sees me act like a goof.

 

I agree that you lose freedom when you are IN a relationship. But the lost time comment was about a failed relationship. You've regained your freedom, whether you wanted it or not.

 

Can't speak for C, but that's not how I'd reward a friend. Now it might be that it just wouldn't matter if a friend saw me underdressed. Especially if I considered the friend to be the same gender I was.

Honesty is better than crystal ball gazing (although I do like gazing into crystal balls - no puns whatsoever this time). I'd tell her I was confused. If it shuts her down, well then it does. If you've been her go-to for 14 years, she'll come back around. If she doesn't, then she was ready to find another go-to.

Sounds to me like your biggest fear is losing her. Think you said or implied that already. So what do you get from this relationship?

 

How about: Would you avoid a relationship if she was as good a match as you would ever find, but she had a fatal disease that would take her away from you in a year? Ecstacy, then Agony. (hypothetical, to solicit a general attitude)

Depends on how you define winning. I think the win is when you are true and accepting and do your best, and it ends poorly, and you get up and try again.

 

Women, on the whole, are raised to be nurturing. Much more so than men. I think being nurturing results in a tendency to consider others...more so than if you aren't particularly nurturing.

 

LOL that's the tipycal male reaction:

"she's showing off, she wants something from me"

Most probably, she doesn't care if you can see her legs or butt, since she's not interested in you. I bet she's not wearing make up when she hangs around with you. But at the moment she goes out (say, you go out for some drinks) she gets all the "equipment".

On the other hand, every woman (and i mean every, even the though witches) loves when somebody pay attention to that details and let them know (or at least you're ovbious enough). Everyone in fact, loves when somebody says "hey, you look really good"

This is about gettin all of love.
Say, if somehow you know that X is going to be the love of your life, but also you know that she's going to die 1 year later, would you still meet her?
The logical answer would be no, that would saves us some pain.
But the normal (at least for me) answer is yes; you normally take the risks no matter what. I do that a lot
Plus, meeting the love of your life only would make your life richer, no matter how short the happiness.

Well, being considered an insensitive ass would get him into troubles. She'll probabbly go on, but the trust will be there still somehow. Sometimes, being kind of cruel is necessary...if you can deal with it.

You can know what crosses her mind if you know her well.
Apparently, GA82 has been 14 years of friendship, so at this point he probably knows what is the best option (or at least the closest)

Plus, let's face it, there's no kid here, we all are quite experienced at this point.

 

She's a friend. The relationship is probably under-analyzed. She's an interesting combination of guy and girl. I can ask her about what's going on with the girls I know. I usually don't quit a friend until I have to.

I don't think I'll lose her as a friend if I don't sleep with her. So no fear there.

 

Well, apparently the problem isn't the girl, but GA82 :evilgrin:

"The beret" doesn't know what happens with him or her (at least this is what he says)
Why would he compromise a nice relationship if he feels doubtful?
If he ask and she walks away, what's the point of doing it? I know, it sounds a bit egoistic, but you have to sometimes.

As men are raised to be protective.
I'm not sure if i agree or not with you, Scryl.