Relationship Rant Thread

I've found that every free object* can be dated successfully (that is, with some degree of positive response achieved) provided sufficient amount of time and psycho-physiological resources are expended by courting subject in a proper way (not counting material resources of course, for their purpose is exactly this - to be expended).

However, that very expenditure can make the object undesirable by the subject in the end.

*Relates to a girl**, if you are a boy, or to a boy***, if you are a girl.
**Found during my own adventures, while being the courting subject.
***Found through observing, and through being the courted object.

 

I'm suggesting NOT focusing on a particular object and expending resources. Pick a person who smiles back at you and see if she is interesting/interested. THEN start wooing her. Start low risk.

 

Why, thank-you. If I'm not getting dates, at least I'm getting major props for having balls of steel. It's not that I don't have self-pity, but that my overwhelming ego usually negates it to a considerable extent. :yes: It's a problem in itself, though, since it may come off as arrogant.

As for your last statement, I'm not sure I agree. I've certainly gotten further by being proactive than by being passive. I consider myself a cool guy, but I'm just not the type that girls naturally want to drag out to dates and into bed (especially since I stopped working out - though there wasn't that much change anyway, so I'm not even trying to find the reason, just accepting it as a fact of life that no girl has ever or will ever fall for me unless I put forward some effort). I'm also a non-conformist of sorts, and I go to a college full of goddamn WASPs (and if that isn't enough, a disgusting frat/srat environment). So what maybe works for you certainly doesn't work for me.


@Serg: Yes, money (and effort, but opportunity cost = money) talks, but I don't think I like your definition of "success"; "some degree of positive response" is a low bar to set, and the lower the goal the lower the result. Shoot for the stars, I say!

@GA: Trying that strategy now since, well, I'm leaving this place forever in a month, so I've got nothing to lose. I'll tell you how it goes! Technically, though, it's random selection since most girls smile back when you talk to them.

But yes, lower the risks. Getting rejected by someone you barely know only hurts the ego, and I already have too much of it anyway. Getting rejected (I'm assuming that's what it was though I'm still debating just WTF happened there) by someone you care about leaves you fucked up emotionally in addition to the above. Well, at least I've got that determination to get a date and go all out, if only to spite my original prospect by having crazy fun.

 

Do not underestimate the word "some".

[EDIT] You have to use imagination when reading my posts

 

Well, "some" is so vague that it'd be more dangerous to over-estimate it in this case. There is no room for imagination, this is a precise science

 

I am hardly an authority on the subject, and my track record is poor by any measure, but I've found that 'friends' stay just that...friends.

If there isn't any initial chemistry, I doubt if anything more than being friends will ever happen. However, that doesn't mean that you don't become friends when you do establish a relationship. That should happen. It just, imo, doesn't happen the other way around, despite all the hype about 'friends with fringe bennies.'

But then, I'm a woman and a romantic at that (as much as I have resisted the label, I think I've earned it), so what do I know?

 

Talk AFTER they smile at you. It's sort of a screening process. And yes, it's still sort of random.

 

Oh, Queen Scryler, and what about traditions of courtly love! Why do you dismiss them so easily? No chemistry is involved in it, and the Knight usually perishes questing for the Lady's favor. but who cares, when love is at stake?

 

who ever did manage to find their way out of the maze called a womans mind?

 

With the only experience I've had with a Knight (a vampire Knight at that), there was a tremendous amount of 'chemistry,' at least on my side anyway.

I don't think I know anything about 'courtly love.' Did it ever exist? What is it, anyway? Perhaps just a way to justify unrequited chemistry? Or did it issue from the maze of a man's mind to raise the chemistry above physical levels? oke:

 

Who ever did manage to find their way INTO a woman's mind?

 

i salute you sir











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It's from European history a few centuries ago. I think it originated in France. The knight expresses his love for a lady in poems and deeds, but not physically.