Feeling a faint guilt over sobbing girl, the girl I made to cry...

Students, to whom I have conducted lectures this semester, have to take a test.
Predictably, I am the one who either gives them pass or fails them.

One girl attended to 04 lectures out of 15. She could not pass the test the first time she tried, she could not pass the test the second time she tried... Today she could not pass the test the third time she tried.

She could not answer questions correctly, so I failed her.
She started to weep and left in tears.
Not the first time this happens to me.
But this time I felt guilty. Very faint sensation, but I can not understand why is it here. I did what was right to do. She did not answer. I only asked what was possible to answer, what she should know. Yet... Anyone?

 

Perhaps you are slightly attracted to her or something about her arouses sympathy.

However from what you say she didn't do the work and couldn't make the grade therefore you had no choice.

Maybe now she will realise it's time to put in the hours.

 

Yes, actually very nice-looking girl, also got an impression that she is rather kind.

I bet she will, but what if her behaviour was the same at every discipline/subject/module, not just at mine? :evilgrin:

Her fault anyway.

 

You would not be doing her any favors except to let her learn from her mistakes. If other people are always doing things for her, she will always be under other people's power. Your sympathy is misplaced.

You did your job correctly, if she doesn't know what she's supposed to know, she needs to fail.

 

To me it sounds like she hasn't put the effort in to learn what is required, imo she mustn't've wanted it enough, in New Zealand she would've already failed, because a minimum of 80% attendance to class is required. Ok maybe ther was some reason she couldn't come to class, but I think she could've talked to someone about that as well and made arangements to learn at other times.

I have a similar feeling, yesterday while stopped at the traffic lights (in the work truck, my boss was driving) I looked out of the window and saw a pretty girl and thought to myself, "she looks german". She saw me looking and came over and asked, in a german accent, "where is at the wharenui pool" I told her to go that way indicating with my hand to my left, and then take a left 1 block up, but the lights changed and I saw her walking the wrong way, the direction I'd indicated to go once she got the the next intersection as we drove off.

 

To GA.
You are talking things I always think myself! That's pretty cool.

To Cujo.
In Russia attendance is required, but, sadly, is not enforced.
I wish I was able to kick all those who skip a lot out of the university, but I can not.

 

I used to be able to drop students who weren't attending from a class, in fact it was "required". But since they could get reinstated (and STILL not attend) I just let them figure things out from the "F" they get at the end of the semester.

In the lower end courses in mathematics, a student who gets into a course without knowing the prerequisites is usually doomed to fail that course, no matter what the effort level, unless the prequisites are fulfilled.

Any institution that gets a reputation for graduating students that don't know what their degree says they know isn't going to be able to shake that reputation. Businesses and other institutions will simply fail to consider that person, sight unseen.

 

This is exactly what I am afraid of -
- That university I work in will get this kind of reputation very soon.
But then I'll have the only choice-to start my own educational institution! Sounds good! Time to start gathering funds...

To Gaear.
So, since I did not feel that before, I was a heartless bastard? Thank you very much! :hug:

[This makes me suspect, that you are acquainted with some of my former students, who told me just that, or rather similar things.]

(OK, OK, I understood this:

was a joke.)

 

school is a too early enviroment to learn about life and consequences. its always too early anyway until its too late. if i had to make an onizuka approach or what my parents (theyre teachers) would do in such a situation i would come up with the fact that if that student have been skipping the classes and even though she knew she had second or third chances she also skipped studying to these exams, then there must be some problem in her life or household that prevented her from concentrating on her studies. my parents would first research this problem and find out if shes any subject to mistreatment.

my guess is that the guilt you felt is bcs of the teacher sickness. all teachers have this strange sickness that makes them feel responsible of their students. feelnig guilt means only youre gaining experience in the profession.





onizuka approach would be to find this problem and solve it in a very disturbingly physical manner. ps onizuka is an anime character ignore this statement lol

 

As for the first part of your statement, Kio11, I fully agree with the fact there was a problem at this student's household, which prevented her from concentrating on her studies. And that problem was, and is, her desire to be financially independent from her parents, which led to her going to work, which takes a lot of time.

This is very common among students. they always tell me "oh, I worked, that is why I did not attend, la-la-la, I am so good, do not fail me, please, la-la-la..." OK, when "I" studied at a University, I did not work just because it would interfere with my studies, and I do not think "work" is an excuse. Actually, I do not think there should be any reason for me to give someone a pass while they are not eligible, because I am responsible for the quality of their education, not for something else.

As for the second part, I always felt responsible for my students, but only in the aspect of education. I do not think invading personal life of students is proper for a higher school teacher. After all, this is not a kindergarten.

UPDATE. That girl passed the test after all, but not because I became soft, she just knew what was due this time. Too bad a week of intensive study can not give knowledge as good as a semester of relaxed study can. Still, it is something, better than nothing she'd have otherwise.

NOTICE. If you think I am becoming old and soft, consider the fact that, of approximately 80 students, half have not got a pass from me yet. :evilgrin:
<Grammar of the "notice" part seems wrong, sorry about that.>

THINKS TO HIMSELF. I wonder what Queen Scryler would comment on this whole thread, considering her psychological experience...

 

At the college I went to, very few professors required attendance. I think the idea was that you were an adult and it wasn't the school's job to make you accountable. I missed very few classes.

But then, I loved learning. There are, of course, many reasons for someone to be in college. For some, it is simply to obtain that piece of paper that gets them a better job. Some go because their parents expect or demand it. Some are there primarily for the social experience and put little effort into learning.

I worked. During the summer, I held menial jobs that reinforced the 'obtain that piece of paper' value. I didn't attend college during the summer. The rest of the time, I held work study classes that gave me enough extra money so I could eat more ramen noodles and pay my electricity bill. I lived off-campus in teeny tiny little places for the most part, because of my cat. I tutored students in writing for my work study job.

One of the primary reasons for college, imo, is to pass on/reinforce middle class values. If you don't 'get it' then maybe you should wait a few years until you want to get accountable. Another reason is simply to keep people out of the job market for a few years and/or exclude you out of better paying jobs permanently.

Many people simply don't belong in college. They wind up in jobs they are not suited for, simply to get that paycheck. I think the community colleges would do better beefing up what they offer to meet the needs of people who would do better in non white collar employment.

It distresses me that in the social services field more and more real life experience is discounted and that piece of paper is becoming all important. The competition for funding forces agencies to go in this direction, even when they don't want to. And we are seeing more and more directors with PhDs who don't have real life experience outside their middle class lives making policy decisions that affect the lower class populations they serve in a very negative manner. Stats, to satisfy funders, have become more important than service.

As you can see, I am very opinionated...thus the diatribe.

I went to college because I could see how things in my chosen fields were going and I too needed that piece of paper. To my astonishment, I loved learning. I could have easily become a professional student.

The best professors I had were those who loved teaching. The worst ones were teaching, imo, simply because they couldn't succeed working anywhere else in their fields. I think I was lucky that so many of my professors loved to teach...and were quite good at it.

And, fyi, psychology is not my love, although I took almost all the psych courses offered. I love sociology. And of course, writing.

 

in countries like russia or turkey where the distribution of income level is very unbalanced, where the simple jobs pay below the hunger level, the only save for youngsters is finishing a higher education, so that they can get out from the unevenly distirbuted part and get some evenness. and if they work part time in an enviroment with unemployment then that gains a different level. so the idea of higher education gains a new meaning in such countries. it becomes too official and gets out of being something that people do to earn a career and increese their life standarts. so it becomes a standart life saver. so the diploma actually becomes even much more of a piece of paper and marks become nothing but obstacles in a semi-crisis enviroment. and teachers, naturally, see this situation and take precautions, like making attendence mandotary or removing/placing bell curve to actually teach people. of course its not the universal way of teaching but sometimes the enviroment requires such.


if thats not the case in russia then forgive me. then it means i acted like i know everything once again

i think btw that the whole education system isnt serving its purpose but i guess thats a discussion for a different topic.

 

Thats interesting because here, a lot of young people stay living at home (with their parents) untill they have finished university and such. Generally to save on the cost of living while studying

 

Looks like I was wrong about that!

HELP ME !!!

It gets worse! Today 9 students passed the test despite being non-eligible (if it were my former self to evaluate them).

Old me (tough) -> unch: <- New me (soft)

P.S. Kio11 is right -> thus he is omniscient.